Dressed in frayed, ripped jeans, a well-worn sweatshirt, and grease-stained vest, the toll collector conducts his business in a long, narrow makeshift tollbooth full of weeds and commuter trash. Splits erupt across his lips like jagged fault lines and tiny red and purple blotches pepper his face like berries, reminding me of our father after one of his benders. His knuckles wrap around an open Dunkin Donuts cup filled with loose change and crumpled dollar bills, and in his other hand, he holds his weathered cardboard message.
TRYING HARD EVERY DAY,
BUT NEED A LITTLE HELP ALONG THE WAY.
I approach the red light, stop and lower my window, pulling out two five-dollar bills from my wallet to stuff inside his cup. I smile a bit too wide, like I’m about to make a difference and fill an empty hole inside of this man—or maybe, I hope, fill up the one inside of me. But then his expression shifts, and his eyebrows arch in a familiar way as he stares back, considering me, and I shrink a bit in my seat.
I won’t ask any questions. I don’t want to know, or it might make me dwell too long on our fucked-up childhood, long-absent father, my wife’s late-night texts when she thinks I’m asleep, or, like last month, the Friday night call from the county jail I declined, letting it go straight to voicemail. I listened to his message later that night while parked in my driveway, less moved than the last time as my brother begged me to post bail for him again so he wouldn’t get dope sick awaiting his Monday morning hearing.
My brother knows me all right, but his expression softens, and he smiles back at me anyway, so I pay the toll and bring back up my window.
Margo Griffin has worked in public education for over thirty years and is the mother of two daughters and to the best rescue dog ever, Harley. Margo’s work has appeared in interesting places such as, Bending Genres, Twin Bird Review, Bright Flash Literary Review, Literary Namjooning, and Roi Fainéant Press. Upcoming January 2025 in Brilliant Flash Fiction. Twitter @67MGriffin and Bluesky @67MGriffin.bsky.social